Maybe it is my perfectionistic tendencies that sometimes make me a bit of a control addict.. Maybe it is my rationalism that quickly adds 2 and 2 which we all know equals 4.. Maybe it is these things that are working together to keep me from seeing or make me doubt how God can work. What saddens me is that when I am faced with seemingly difficult to impossible situations my first response is "Yes, God can do it" until a little times passes and my doubts set in. Then it seems that the moment that I give in to my doubts, God opens a door I thought was shut and sealed. Why am I so easy to lose faith?
My friend, Quicke, who I mentioned earlier is the last of our four missionaries that we are sending out this August to get his visa. In fact, as of this very moment he still doesn't have his visa and he needs to be boarding a plane at the latest in 12 days! He waited a little late to start applying for the visa, it was one and a half months. They wouldn't even give him an appointment at one european consulate until after his leaving date! So on the off chance that another consulate from another european country would grant him the visa, he went up to the capital, Quito, to try. We were all praying for him and then we received the call. "They said that I had all the right papers, only that they couldn't give me the visa, it has to be the first consulate that we went to, the one who wouldn't give me the appointment until after my leaving date". I was so discouraged, everyone was. Why did it seem that God who has been leading Quicke for the past 10 years into service with OM would shut the doors at the last moment? Within two hours I got another call from Quicke. "Tabitha, you will never guess what happened, the first consulate called me to tell me that I have an appointment with them tomorrow morning!!" I was ashamed for my doubts. The next day I was anxiously waiting (last thursday) to hear if he got the visa. Instead he told me that they asked for more papers and told him to come back the 18th, five days before he had to be leaving Ecuador... After explain the situation again they agreed to give him an earlier appointment, tomorrow morning at 10:30am, Wednesday the 11th of August, twelve days before he needs to leave. So once again I am torn with the fear that they will deny his visa or keep asking for more papers until it is impossible for him to go. But it cannot be, we know that this is where God is leading, we know that He can open impossible doors. Another friend who knows Quicke well said to me, "Tabitha, Quicke has always said about situations, 'por fe' now it is time that God is testing that faith".
I have been thinking hard on the subject of faith now for some weeks. In doing so I have read Hebrews 11. Verse one says "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." In parts of this chapter good things come to those who are living by faith, and to other some pretty bad things, like being sawn in two. So what does faith mean? That if we pray for something and have faith that God will give us what we want? That isn't faith. Faith is putting every hope we have in the very character of who God is. It is believing with everything that we have what He tells us and holding to it, obeying it, no matter how silly it might seems like building a big boat in the middle of dry land before cranes and semi-trucks. I want faith like that but I still think a little part of me is scared of it.
Please pray for Quicke today, for peace, the right words, and for a visa because at this point the visa would be a miracle.
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| Quicke |
