truth #11: grace is amazing

Fundacion Jesus Por Los Niños... This is the orphanage that I went to on Wednesday. This is now Friday and I am still not sure what I think of my time there. Here is what I wrote in my journal after coming home:

We went to the orphanage today, Lennart, Maria Jose, Marina and I. 10am to 5pm. I must confess it was a LONG 7 hours! 30 children live in this orphanage.. that honestly feels more like a jail. All the children are locked in the building that consists of 2 large bedrooms (one for the boys and one for the girls), a bathroom for each, a large closet with clothes thrown all over making it almost impossible to find the right sizes for each child, a dining area and a kitchen that is kept locked. There is a 'jail keeper' who keeps the keys for the door between the children's living area and the office. While we were there the lady in charge didn't come in for more than five minutes. I get the feeling that the children spend most of their time alone. I have started to get to know the girls and a few of the boys. My heart hurts for them. They are hurting and lonely and yet because they don't know now to express it, it comes out in anger! They are soo angry. They don't listen to any instructions, the only look to you to see how they can use you. One of the girls around 7 years old asked me, "Are you a Christian?" I replied "Yes." Then she goes on to ask me the question that Lennart said they asked him the first week he went. "Did Jesus come in the spirit or in the flesh?" I believe the answer is both, however I didn't respond like this as I knew they were looking for the 'right' answer (which to them was 'in the flesh') and would say that you are not really a Christian if you cannot give them the answer that they want. Instead of appeasing them or getting caught in the trap, I simply asked "Why would you ask such a question? Don't you know what matters is that you know God and have a relationship with Him?" They couldn't argue with that and then went on to another subject. Hopefully we can help them to see it is
about a relationship not about religion or 'right' answers.

We plan to go to the orphanage each Wednesday to help with the children. As we get more people to help hopefully we can go other days as well. There are so many opportunities to help and to minister to people in a real way. We also are going in the evenings to work with the children in the streets, those who sell things on the corners and who basically have a sad and lonely life. We will also continue working with the Island Santay, teaching, playing, and discipling the people there. We have several economic projects beginning on the island. My dad is helping with one, a garden on the island that floods a 60-80% of the time in this season. The people don't get much to eat and go without when the fishing is bad. I will post more about that later.

As for the title of this truth... I am currently reading a book by Philip Yancy called "What's so amazing about grace?" Wow, I am only just in the first couple of chapters but already it has been speaking to me. Some of you know how much of the 'middle child syndrome' that I have (well mostly my family...) and from some of you I have hidden it quite well... I want things to be fair, for each to get what they deserve. But that is completely opposite of what grace is. I think before I read this book I would have said that I understood grace but some how I think I separated it in the spiritual sense and in how I see life each day. How can I say that I understand grace and yet become impatient with each thing that is so unfair, like having to wash someone else's dishes or clean up their mess or even do these things but with irritation in my mind... I cannot say that all these things will be fixed overnight but hopefully during this journey I will understand the grace that God has for me and be able to show the same grace everyday!