Rrrauuggraugraugraug raug.... Better than the roosters crow, the next door neighbor's dog sounds the wake up call. Unfortunately this alarm doesn't have a snooze button. I cannot count the numerous times I have laid in my bed thinking up ways to murder the dog that lives under my second story bedroom window. Crossbow with flaming arrows, poisoned meat, a half ton of sleeping pills... my bare hands... This isn't just any breed of dog, it has been born with built in loud speakers and a barking switch that doesn't turn off until a full 20 minutes has been reached and can go off at any given moment. Skype conversations have been interrupted because they cannot hear me above the dog. My boss who lives across the street tells me that they can hear this little beast of horror. The time that I went to my next door neighbors house to ask if they would make the dog be quiet because I had a terrible migraine... the kind neighbor-lady gave me a headache pill and sympathized with how annoying the creature was with his endless barking.
Then last week, after nine months of living next to this sleep stealer, I was sitting on my bed reading my bible and off he went.. Raaauug raugraug raugraugraug.. Murderous thoughts once again began to build in my yet-coffee-deprived brain, when through the racket God spoke to me, -Love your neighbor Tabitha.
-WHAT? You have got to be kidding God! I do love my neighbors, look at the work that I am doing with the orphans, kids in the hospital, giving of myself every day! This barking dog is an injustice, it is inconsiderate and just plain rude!
Then even softer, "Tabitha, love your neighbor, this neighbor."
Love cannot pick and choose. I cannot say that I love but only love those who are easy to love. This neighbor and their dog is an allegory for me. I cannot say that I love my neighbor and hate his dog, because really hating his dog means I think things towards my neighbor like "What idiot gets and dog and never trains it", basically very uncharitable and leads to hating my neighbor. It is the same with the people I am around who have annoying traits or are doing things that hurt me. It means not just loving the kids in the orphanage and hospital but going out and giving soup to the fathers who live on the streets in a life of alcohol and drugs.
Just last Thursday evening we were out serving soup when four young girls approached the car with the soup taking the bowls and bread that we offered. I was standing near and started up a conversation with them. We talked about where they lived and what they were up to, just the basics, when one of the little girls leans in to say softly to me "You do know that you are giving soup to theives? Everyone here is a thief." I just smiled slightly as I began to explain to her that we all have bad things in our lives but the beauty of it all is that no one is soo bad that God cannot love them, like a little girl who doesn't always obey her mom or a drug addict throwing his family to the side or even a neighbor with a really annoying dog.
Tuesday, March 9
Sunday, February 28
truth #26: Addictions
On Valentines weekend, Sharon and I went to a Christian camp for young people as the following Monday and Tuesday were a holiday (Carnival). This was the first time in eight years that I have attended a camp as a participant! There was also another first that I had during this camp... the first time to play futbol in 20 years. I played at age six on a little kids league. I haven't played since. The girls in my cabin talked me into being on their team even though I told them I had not played in years. Once on the field I find that they are putting me in the forward position (whatever it is that they call that position these days). Whew! I had a chest cold and we were in Quito which is for me going from 5ft altitude in Guayaquil to 10,000ft... Our team lost but during this feat I learned something about byself. I like futbol! A lot! New addiction! I also made many new friends and contacts. One great friend who I met up with again and was reminded how much I enjoy her company is Candy.Next.. My 26th Birthday
This year I decided to go all out, well all out for me, and have a real birthday party. I invited lots and lots of people and still missed a few with the instructions of bringing a plant if they wanted to bring a birthday gift. You might ask where this desire for plants comes from. Some might say my Dad who is the expert of all green living things or the lack of green that we have in my concrete world of Guayaquil but honestly I don't know. On my trip to Saraguro the two weeks before I picked up to rose bushes and another flower that I don't know the species. It was during this short time that I realized I actually enjoyed having plants around. I like talking to them, watering them and even talking to them by name. Yes, all my plants have names. You might think that is silly so did most people who brought me a plant but by the end of the night everyone was wanting to know the name of the newest arrival! In this picture you see me with Michael and Anneke Bolt and their beautiful gift. Her name is Rebecca. And the other picture with Sharon and I is our 'christmas' present from Isabel. He/she does not yet have a name though we are all calling him/her by a different one. Those names include Ursela, Henry and Kevin.
I of course still have other addicitions like coffee, reading and vegetables but it is nice to find new things to like as well! God has been so good to me during my 26 years of life, I have been blessed by the family that I have, true friends and the blessing of getting to know so many different believers from all over the world! I am excited to see what this new year of life will bring around! To God be the Glory!
truth #25: On your mark, get set, GO!
February 5 - 7
I have never understood the inner workings of the set up of a short-term mission trip until now. Budgets, options, legal issues, where, what, who, when and how.. After putting together the basic line up of what will happen April 17 -24 on the OM Medicial Mission trip to Saraguro, we decided to make a visit to the town to pull together the final details.
Roberto, Cira, Michael, Anneke and I took a flying trip to Saraguro on Friday the 5th of February. We looked at hotels, talked in-depth with the pastor of one of the two evangelical churches for 15,000 of the Saraguro community and began finalizing things. The Church Light and Truth is very exciting about the fast approaching trip and the practial ministry opportunity that this will provide them for their community. We are still looking for volunteers from the USA to come and partner with us. If you are in the medical field and would like to help pray about coming. If you are not medical at all... NO WORRIES! We also need you! There are many jobs that need to be done on a medical trip and as long as you are willing and flexible then you are perfect for the job! Please contact my uncle, Dr. Eddie Moore - eddie_moore@yahoo.com , for more details and you will need to go to this website to fill out an application http://www..omusa.org/go/medical-missions/short-term-trips. It would be great to see you!
The Church Light and Truth
Pastor Miguel and Michael
Saraguro
Just a sighting of Llamas on the way to Saraguro.
Sunday, January 17
truth #24: I am my own worst enemy
For some reason, I had thought that looking to Jesus was a one time deal, now I am more convinced than ever that looking to Jesus only makes us look more. It seems that I could almost feel proud of my accomplishments this week, the way that I looked to Jesus in a very frustrating situation instead of letting the situation take over me. Instead I find that my knuckles are still white with my grip to Him, my eyes so dry because I am afraid to blink, because if I do then maybe I will fall again. Oh how easy it is to fall. This week has been fascinating in a practice of what I talked about last week, looking to Jesus.
There are 60 seconds in each minute with 60 minutes in each hour with 24 hours in each day and 7 days in one week.. That makes for a lot of choices in just one little week. So, I would like to refer this conversation to a specific event that occurred this week. Most of you who know me well, understand that I am an independent person, stubborn at times, and in a word a somewhat strong personality. My grandfather used to say that I could argue with a fence post, which has gotten better over the years. Also, I HATE it when something is done unfairly, to me or to others. YES mom, I do realize that this world is not fair! (a quote that I heard daily during my teenage years) It is thus in my nature to fight against those injustices whither it be by educating poor children or playing by the rules in a board game.. And though I do realize that there are exceptions to the rule, for the most part, these things are like rubbing a cats fur the wrong direction to me. I have a friend who has an unfortunate habit of saying things that irritate me. One of such occurances happened during this week and I must be honest and confess that my initial reaction was not good, I was angry at the rudeness of the statement made by my friend. Then I heard that small voice asking me "Why are you so angry?" then I recognized that it was not anger but rather hurt. I was deeply hurt that this person would treat me in such a manner. So I asked God an either/or question, should I do this or that? He simply told me to pray. Pray for my friend, not that they would see 'the light', not that God would fix them but instead to pray blessings, protection, wisdom, peace and joy over them. The hurt began to fade, forgiveness and healing were possible. Was I able to do this myself? HA, not at all, like I said previously, my eyes are still dry because I am afraid of blinking and falling away.
Maybe this all seem childish to you, maybe you don't have the same struggles as I do, but I must admit it was the way that God so clearly showed me 'my way' vs 'His way' that was of importance and not so much the event. Because, it is when I surrender that He holds me, when peace comes, and when it all works out. I am sure that there is a way to look to Jesus and still be able to blink but I have to admit that I still don't trust myself. You see I realize that I am my own worst enemy when it comes to looking at Jesus. I am struggling against my selfish reactions and desires, my independence, my idea of justice. I am struggling against me. As long as my eyes are on Him my 'self' has no power. So if I have to go through this life with dry eyes and cramped hands then so be it, as communion with Him is worth every second. And do I fall? Do I mess up? Of course, but as I said previously He tells me to look to Him and not at what I have done, bad or good.
There are 60 seconds in each minute with 60 minutes in each hour with 24 hours in each day and 7 days in one week.. That makes for a lot of choices in just one little week. So, I would like to refer this conversation to a specific event that occurred this week. Most of you who know me well, understand that I am an independent person, stubborn at times, and in a word a somewhat strong personality. My grandfather used to say that I could argue with a fence post, which has gotten better over the years. Also, I HATE it when something is done unfairly, to me or to others. YES mom, I do realize that this world is not fair! (a quote that I heard daily during my teenage years) It is thus in my nature to fight against those injustices whither it be by educating poor children or playing by the rules in a board game.. And though I do realize that there are exceptions to the rule, for the most part, these things are like rubbing a cats fur the wrong direction to me. I have a friend who has an unfortunate habit of saying things that irritate me. One of such occurances happened during this week and I must be honest and confess that my initial reaction was not good, I was angry at the rudeness of the statement made by my friend. Then I heard that small voice asking me "Why are you so angry?" then I recognized that it was not anger but rather hurt. I was deeply hurt that this person would treat me in such a manner. So I asked God an either/or question, should I do this or that? He simply told me to pray. Pray for my friend, not that they would see 'the light', not that God would fix them but instead to pray blessings, protection, wisdom, peace and joy over them. The hurt began to fade, forgiveness and healing were possible. Was I able to do this myself? HA, not at all, like I said previously, my eyes are still dry because I am afraid of blinking and falling away.
Maybe this all seem childish to you, maybe you don't have the same struggles as I do, but I must admit it was the way that God so clearly showed me 'my way' vs 'His way' that was of importance and not so much the event. Because, it is when I surrender that He holds me, when peace comes, and when it all works out. I am sure that there is a way to look to Jesus and still be able to blink but I have to admit that I still don't trust myself. You see I realize that I am my own worst enemy when it comes to looking at Jesus. I am struggling against my selfish reactions and desires, my independence, my idea of justice. I am struggling against me. As long as my eyes are on Him my 'self' has no power. So if I have to go through this life with dry eyes and cramped hands then so be it, as communion with Him is worth every second. And do I fall? Do I mess up? Of course, but as I said previously He tells me to look to Him and not at what I have done, bad or good.
"But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. More than that I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ." Philippians 3:7-8
Saturday, January 9
truth #23: less of me is better
Many of you know that shortly after arriving back in Texas on the 19th of December a surprising event occurred. Early in the morning of the 21st, I was in the hospital having an emergency laparoscopic appendectomy after a night full of the worst stomach pains I have had in my life. This event led to a lot of firsts in my life...
-being a patient in the ER
-having morphine
-wearing one of those airy hospital gowns for more than 30 min
-having surgery
-eating hospital food
-having to politely call someone to take me to the bathroom every 3 hours
-having a panic attack.. silly I know
-staying overnight in a hospital
-having saline solution pushed through my dry IV... OUCH
-being in public with my pant unbuttoned on purpose
It was a very interesting week before Christmas let me tell you! I passed that whole week under the influence of prescription drugs so my Christmas day was a little hazy. When people kept pointing out how often they caught me with my eyes closed, I just simply said "I'm awake! and just resting my eyes!" They didn't tend to believe me. My parents took great care of me and I will forever be grateful that they insisted that I go to the ER. So many friends and family have mentioned how good it was that the whole thing happened after I got back home instead of in Ecuador. That made me start to think about things a little more closely. I realized that if this had all happened 48 hours earlier, I would not have gone to the hospital, at least not until my appendix had burst. That could have been very dangerous and possibly deadly. And this whole thing happened at the beginning of my trip giving me two weeks to recover before I flew back. Also, Seth from OM Ecuador was back home in Georgia with Lennart and they were returning to Guayaquil on the same flight as me. Meaning that they helped me with my bags as I am under strict orders not to lift anything over 15 pounds.
I am two days from the three week mark and have only three more weeks of careful living until I go back to normal. I am doing much better and healing fine. This whole situation really helped me to see once again how God is orchestrating everything in my life even when I don't see it at first. Thank you for your prayers as I know and see that God is answering them!
When I titled this post as 'less of me is better' I was just thinking in the sense that I am now better off without my appendix as it was giving me all that trouble. However, this also ties into what God has been teaching me lately. I have found my self very frustrated over the last few months with my own self, work and others. I had been praying about the situations so much and it felt like so little was happening. It wasn't until I was sitting in the airport on my way home and writing in my journal when I began to realize that my mindset was wrong and thus my prayers were also in a sense wrong. I had been praying so hard for God to fix things, to give me the strength to fix things to do, and fix, and about every other active verb you can think of when the only thing that He desired for me to do was to look at Him, not at me and not at my problems. It sounds so simple, just focus on Jesus and everything will work out. But what does that mean, to focus on Jesus? I am still figure that one out. But I am learning as fast as this stubborn person can, that my job isn't to fix everything in life but to look to Him and He will show my in His time whatever it is that He wants me to work on. It isn't and easy thing for me to learn and I am spending everyday seeking to hear His voice and what it is that He wants to tell me in that moment. Life is a lot more peaceful that way.
-being a patient in the ER
-having morphine
-wearing one of those airy hospital gowns for more than 30 min
-having surgery
-eating hospital food
-having to politely call someone to take me to the bathroom every 3 hours
-having a panic attack.. silly I know
-staying overnight in a hospital
-having saline solution pushed through my dry IV... OUCH
-being in public with my pant unbuttoned on purpose
It was a very interesting week before Christmas let me tell you! I passed that whole week under the influence of prescription drugs so my Christmas day was a little hazy. When people kept pointing out how often they caught me with my eyes closed, I just simply said "I'm awake! and just resting my eyes!" They didn't tend to believe me. My parents took great care of me and I will forever be grateful that they insisted that I go to the ER. So many friends and family have mentioned how good it was that the whole thing happened after I got back home instead of in Ecuador. That made me start to think about things a little more closely. I realized that if this had all happened 48 hours earlier, I would not have gone to the hospital, at least not until my appendix had burst. That could have been very dangerous and possibly deadly. And this whole thing happened at the beginning of my trip giving me two weeks to recover before I flew back. Also, Seth from OM Ecuador was back home in Georgia with Lennart and they were returning to Guayaquil on the same flight as me. Meaning that they helped me with my bags as I am under strict orders not to lift anything over 15 pounds.
I am two days from the three week mark and have only three more weeks of careful living until I go back to normal. I am doing much better and healing fine. This whole situation really helped me to see once again how God is orchestrating everything in my life even when I don't see it at first. Thank you for your prayers as I know and see that God is answering them!
When I titled this post as 'less of me is better' I was just thinking in the sense that I am now better off without my appendix as it was giving me all that trouble. However, this also ties into what God has been teaching me lately. I have found my self very frustrated over the last few months with my own self, work and others. I had been praying about the situations so much and it felt like so little was happening. It wasn't until I was sitting in the airport on my way home and writing in my journal when I began to realize that my mindset was wrong and thus my prayers were also in a sense wrong. I had been praying so hard for God to fix things, to give me the strength to fix things to do, and fix, and about every other active verb you can think of when the only thing that He desired for me to do was to look at Him, not at me and not at my problems. It sounds so simple, just focus on Jesus and everything will work out. But what does that mean, to focus on Jesus? I am still figure that one out. But I am learning as fast as this stubborn person can, that my job isn't to fix everything in life but to look to Him and He will show my in His time whatever it is that He wants me to work on. It isn't and easy thing for me to learn and I am spending everyday seeking to hear His voice and what it is that He wants to tell me in that moment. Life is a lot more peaceful that way.
"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you."
Isaiah 26:3
Saturday, November 28
truth #22: Tabitha says: Gordagordagorda
HAPPY THANKSGIVING! We have so many things to be thankful for. Here is a short list of things I am newly thankful for this year:-Family (especially after seeing the lives of the orphans)
-Supporters (Couldn't do the things that I am without you!)
-Electricity (not having it several hours each day makes one thankful)
-Electricity (not having it several hours each day makes one thankful)
-Running Water (again our water has an electric pump.. connect the dots...)
-Internet (to talk with my family, friends and keep up with the world news)
-Internet (to talk with my family, friends and keep up with the world news)
-That God is always good (not said lightly)
-Daily food
-Cold weather
-Good friends
-Daily food
-Cold weather
-Good friends
-Letters in the mail
-Nights were you can see the stars (never here..)
-Silence (learned to appreciate this one cause of the little dog next door with the big voice)
We had a night of celebration Friday the 26th of November in my house. Let me just preface this by saying I never truely understood all that went into a Thanksgiving until this year, my mom and my aunts are my heros! Seth, Sharon and I began cooking at 1pm for the 20 guests we were expecting at 7pm. Did I mention that we still are under power cuts and it goes out everyday from 4 to 6pm... just another little glitch in the preparations. Thankfully we have a gas stove!! Also there is not such thing as cranberry sauce, we looked in almost all the stores! However just for your future knowledge, blackberry jam is very similar. You also cannot find velveeta cheese, the kind that Seth needed for his mac and cheese. So we made it, yes that is right we made velveeta cheese. It turned out well but not quite the same.
First came the turkey. Yes Sharon and I voted unamously for Seth to get the turkey struggle, he didn't even get a chance to say no! It turned out great and two hours early!! What can I say none of us have ever cooked a turkey.
Then I made my family's famous dressing and for those of you not from the south it is similar to stuffing but not made inside the turkey. Sharon helped me with the tasting.
Sweet potates - recipe courtsey of my Aunt Etta. These are a little different as the sweet potatoes here are purple instead of orange. Funny isn't it?
We also had mashed potatoes, mac and cheese, steamed green beans, gravy made from turkey drippings (yay Sharon!!), my mom's famous rolls (already becoming famous in Ecaudor), and salad.
We all stood around the very long table (no kids table this time!) and prayed, then explained the tradition of Thanksgiving and the foods. It was a great time of fellowship and getting to know each other better.
Shura and our friend Isabel brough pie: Pumpkin and apple. As you can see Seth is really enjoying his pumpkin pie!
Then last but not least the HUGE clean up! Thanks everyone for helping!!!
Tuesday, November 17
truth #21: The Ecuadorian Turkey says: Gordagordagorda
Thanksgiving is a week and a half away. I love this holiday, I think that it is my favorite of all the holidays. Mostly because it is hard to commercialize as Thanksgiving is made up of Family, Friends and Food. I am sad to miss my third Thanksgiving with my family. I think that is one of the hardest things about being a missionary. I really like my family: my Papa and Earlene, Uncle Eddie and Aunt Jeanette, Uncle Gerald and Aunt Polly, Uncle David and Aunt Cynthia, Aunt Lisa, Uncle Jerry and Aunt Etta, Erin and Jeremy, Ethan and Sarah, Bryan, Deborah, Delancy, Jessica, Brandy and of course my Dad, my Mom, my incredibly intelligent favorite older brother Jason and my incredible cute, favorite little brother James. I just wanted you guys to know that I am thinking of you during this time.
Well the three North Americans currently on the team, Seth (Georgia), Sharon (California) and me (TEXAS!), we decided that we would like to share a little of our culture with the OM team. So on Black Friday we are going to put together a little Thanksgiving dinner. We are trying to keep it small as none of us have ever cooked the whole Thanksgiving meal! So we think that there will be around 13-15 people. The current menu look like this:
Turkey - Seth (First time for all of us to try and cook one so if you have tips...)
Dressing - Me (family recipe)
Mashed potatoes - Sharon
Sweet Potatoes - all (recipe from Aunt Etta)
Rolls - me (just guess, yes that is right Tina's famous rolls aka Mom's rolls)
Green Beans - all (no recipe, we will just make something up)
Gravy. all (another experiment)
Macaroni and Cheese - Seth
Pumpkin Pie - Shura (My field leader's wife. She is an AMAZING cook!)
Apple Pie - Isabel (Good friend and I hope that she is an amazing cook :)
We will search high and low for the cranberry sauce but... no guarantees . I hope that all of you will enjoy your holidays. Oh and just for the record in Spanish Gordagordagorda means Fatfatfat.
Well the three North Americans currently on the team, Seth (Georgia), Sharon (California) and me (TEXAS!), we decided that we would like to share a little of our culture with the OM team. So on Black Friday we are going to put together a little Thanksgiving dinner. We are trying to keep it small as none of us have ever cooked the whole Thanksgiving meal! So we think that there will be around 13-15 people. The current menu look like this:
Turkey - Seth (First time for all of us to try and cook one so if you have tips...)
Dressing - Me (family recipe)
Mashed potatoes - Sharon
Sweet Potatoes - all (recipe from Aunt Etta)
Rolls - me (just guess, yes that is right Tina's famous rolls aka Mom's rolls)
Green Beans - all (no recipe, we will just make something up)
Gravy. all (another experiment)
Macaroni and Cheese - Seth
Pumpkin Pie - Shura (My field leader's wife. She is an AMAZING cook!)
Apple Pie - Isabel (Good friend and I hope that she is an amazing cook :)
We will search high and low for the cranberry sauce but... no guarantees . I hope that all of you will enjoy your holidays. Oh and just for the record in Spanish Gordagordagorda means Fatfatfat.
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